Foutre ce tout

The title of this post, is something that passes through my mind far more more often than I'd like it to.

Life is tougher now.

In the time that's passed since my last post, some several months, there's a lot that's happened.

Fuck it, lets bullet point these things.

1. Decisions. They've started to matter.(also, compromises are suddenly a thing)

2. I'd like to think I've  become more self-aware(doesn't necessarily translate into self-confident).

3. I find myself getting lost in the alternating(and sometimes overlapping) crevasses of thought and unthought that have become an oft-occurring part of my life.

4. I've learned the hard way, there's a price you pay when you choose inertia, and it will gnaw endlessly at your bones as you watch the world pass by.

5. My English has gotten considerably worse.

6. My Hindi has gotten better, and I've picked up twangs of Punjabi and Haryanvi somewhere along the way.

7. I generally loathe the nature of most people around me and hate how I must adapt and behave(also how I behave) in their presence.

8. Suddenly, its far harder to leave words unsaid. Maybe this is because of my renewed perspective on time and its finity, but I'm pretty sure the change in the rest of me affects this as well.

9. Self-improvement is something that needs careful, directed attention. Simply floating down a river born of one's pre-existent self, will never yield a traveler whose experiences match his expectations.

I write this post in hope of a better tomorrow, I know I'll always find meaning in today.

P.S. The MBTI(Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) helps, and I believe most people could benefit in some way or another from the test.

P.P.S. I am an ENTP type(in regard to the above point about the MBTI)

ciao